In an article in The Friend (3 April 2015) Laurie Michaelis, the magazine’s environment editor, writes, among painfully honest and powerful words on shame and humility:
Advices & Queries 1, with its words about ‘the leadings of God whose light shows us our darkness’, speaks powerfully to me… ‘Darkness’ is not badness. It is normal and inevitable that we have areas of partial or distorted awareness. My most shadowy areas are to do with instinct – those gut feelings that got me and others around me into trouble. My learning path was, and still is, partly about discernment. That means listening to my gut as well as to my head and heart, and to other people. It means heeding the signs, especially when they warn against action; waiting for the Way to open.
This put me in mind of yesterday’s post, where I wrote of the way seeming dark, and steep and slippery underfoot, and my own realisation that all that is needful is to sit still under that darkness, and “wait… for the Way to open.”
It was Gordon Matthews, back in the 1980s, who wrote, “We do well to remember that being led by the spirit depends not so much upon God, who is always there to lead us, as upon our willingness to be led. We need to be willing to be led into the dark as well as through green pastures and by still waters. We do not need to be afraid of the dark, because God is there.”
In these days, when the world seems so full of foolishness and injustice, and Friends around so full of activity and certainty, so full of plans, and yes, notions, It is hard to learn to keep still, and cease from our own working; but in these times of shadow it may be the only course that will not lead to our own and others’ undoing, as Laurie admits so poignantly in his article.
It is hard to do nothing, even when “the signs… warn against action.” And yet sometimes to do nothing is the most faithful, the most obedient thing. We do not know always, or often, what we are to do, until we are shown the way – and it may be long days, even weeks or years, till the Way opens, even if we know where it seems to lead. It is that patient obedience and endurance, which, as James Nayler said, will “outlive all wrath and contention, and… weary out all exaltation and cruelty, or whatever is of a nature contrary to itself”, and allow us to “slowly learn… to dwell in the place where leadings come from. That is a place of love and joy and peace, even in the midst of pain.” (Matthews, as cited)